the daily humorscope
Tuesday, December 25, 2012 Aries (March 21 - April 19)Three kings from arid countries will wander by, leading their horses, and apparently searching for something. This will seem innocuous at first,...
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Thursday, December 27, 2012 Aries (March 21 - April 19)A moth the size of a Boeing 747 will erupt from a nearby hillside today, and go off to help a huge semi-aquatic rubbery dinosaur fight off an...
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Friday, December 28, 2012 Aries (March 21 - April 19)Yesterday's bathtub mystery will be explained today. Still, you'll have no idea what to feed the penguin. Pizza might work, I'd think.Taurus (April...
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Saturday, December 29, 2012 Aries (March 21 - April 19)A hexapod robot will run away from its laboratory today, change its name to "Bob", and take up residence with you. Eventually, you'll become best...
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Tuesday, January 01, 2013 Aries (March 21 - April 19)An odd smell, probably like that of chocolate milk drying on a linoleum floor, will bring back a flood of childhood memories. You will remember...
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ThursdayAries (March 21 - April 19)Excellent day to come up with new theories to explain the universe around you. Remember: the simplest explanation is usually the best. For example, most physicists...
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Friday, January 04, 2013 Aries (March 21 - April 19)You will find an alien artifact behind the cushion in the sofa. Point the pointy end away from you, if you push the little bumpy thing. Personally,...
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Monday, January 07, 2013 Aries (March 21 - April 19)You will combine a therapeutic technique based on rapid eye movement with yoga postures, creating something that looks so silly, passers by will...
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Tuesday, January 08, 2013 Aries (March 21 - April 19)You didn't sleep well, last night. You won't sleep well, tonight. In fact, chances are very good that you'll be tired and cranky for the rest of...
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Wednesday, January 09, 2013 Aries (March 21 - April 19)You'll accidentally eat one of those fried szechuan chili peppers today, and it will bring tears to your eyes. This will strike you as odd, given...
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Thursday, January 10, 2013 Aries (March 21 - April 19)You will discover that you can raise one eyebrow by itself, but not the other. This will aggravate you, and you'll spend the majority of the day...
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Monday, January 28, 2013 Aries (March 21 - April 19)Today the universe will stop expanding, and start contracting. You will be the only one who notices. Also, you will develop a strange desire to wear...
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Tuesday, January 29, 2013 Aries (March 21 - April 19)You will hear a mysterious "whapping" sound as you are passing by a church today. Curiosity will get the better of you, and you will peek inside....
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Wednesday, January 30, 2013 Aries (March 21 - April 19)Today you will suddenly realise how sensuous pudding can be. This will mark a turning point in your life.Taurus (April 20 - May 20)Today you will...
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Thursday, January 31, 2013Aries (March 21 - April 19)Today you will begin a new hobby: collecting spores, molds, and fungus. You will find it richly rewarding, in a spiritual sense.Taurus (April 20 -...
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Friday, February 01, 2013 Aries (March 21 - April 19)Today you will make a bold fashion statement, which will eventually become a trend and sweep the nation. "Executive Grunge", you'll call it.Taurus...
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Saturday, February 02, 2013 Aries (March 21 - April 19)Today is a good day to exercise that special magic you have, of making people smile. Try telling everyone "smile when you say that, buster", for...
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Sunday, February 03, 2013 Aries (March 21 - April 19)Your butler will return to work today, and pretend as if nothing had happened. It's time for you to compromise, and give up those new argyles. It's...
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Wednesday, February 06, 2013 Aries (March 21 - April 19)Today you will learn how to tell the difference between an octopus and a cuttlefish. Aside, that is, from the octopus' greater problem solving...
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Friday, February 08, 2013 Aries (March 21 - April 19)Today you will receive an odd postcard from a long lost relative in Peru. He will invite you to come explore an ancient Incan ruin which he has...
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